just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
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