i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
Randomize
