i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
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