Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
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