she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
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