he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Randomize
