it hurts more in the daytime
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
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