I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
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