its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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