I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
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