The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
Top reasons to NOT leave jessica to her own devices : 1. Drinking becomes a competitive sport ( in which she is the only one competing) 2.big girl words= no worky 3. Whiskey refuses to be a good friend (as much as she insists ). 4. Waking up at six a.m. still in her swim suit is super awkward. 5. It isn't a fun game to figure out which person she gave her number to and 6. Yesterdays eyeliner doesn't look good today.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
