How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
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