i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
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