Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
No stitches, just platelets and will power
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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