do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
Randomize
