VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
Randomize
