so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
Randomize
