guys are only as good as the porn they watch
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
Randomize
