I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
well I can't set my house on fire every night
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
Never underestimate the power of titties
Randomize