I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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