you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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