i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
He keeps bees of course he's weird
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
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