Well apparently he's into motor boating.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
Randomize
