Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
50% drunk capacity currently
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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