well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Randomize
