i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Randomize
