Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
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