I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
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