I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
