So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize