i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
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