so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
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Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
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