I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Randomize
