I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
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