She announced her abortion via fbk
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
Randomize
