Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
Blow job season was short but glorious.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
Randomize
