don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
