you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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