I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
Randomize
