i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
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