is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
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