I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize