I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
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