me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
True strength comes from lack of pants
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
Randomize
