My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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