Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
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