when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
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