I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
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