I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
Vodka?
Forever.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
