yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
Randomize
