I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize
