I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
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