Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
my liver is dry heaving
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
