there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
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