there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Randomize