im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
Randomize
