it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
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