i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
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