Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
