im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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